I say that with the most extreme tone of sarcasm that one guy could possibly muster. Firstly, I'd like to say to GoDaddy.com...blow me. You try gouge me for a shitty .info domain after making me pay only 2.99 to get it. I will not give you more business without a formal apology along the lines of "Dear Mr. LaCombe, we formally apologize for trying to take your hard earned cash, and we offer every domain name starting with the letter "Z" and, also, a blow job from an attractive employee on our staff, your choice." I'm hoping this is going to come through for me. I'm not the biggest fan of Blogger. It's not that I'm condemning anyone who uses it. It's an easy alternative to designing a site from scratch and then messing with HTML everytime you want to make a post. I get it.
Next, I want to say to the United States...no, scratch that...to the World...blow me. I'd like to destroy a third world country. Here is why: the Rick Roll'ing of me and the rest of the population when gas prices went down, only to begin rising again, effectively breaking my heart in the process. Maybe this is all my fault. I jinx'ed the whole world by saying "I fucking love cheap gas.", but really, who could blame me? I love cheap hookers too, but does that mean that every hooker is going to raise their bed fees?
Lastly, for today's segment of hate, I say to collegiate institutions...blow me. Every semester there's a new fee for some god awful reason. I would not be surprised if next semester I have to pay an extra thirty-five dollars for the "Marty McFly" fee in which Back to the Future is shown on every kiosk promptly at 8:08 every morning. Can't I just pay a basic a-la-carte fee? Basic Experience: $2000. Computer Usage: $35. Regretful Drunken Sex with an Ugly Co-Ed: $47 dollars. That seems sensible to me!
That's all I have to say for now. I'm parched and exhausted from all of this tomfoolery.
$47 for an ugly coed hookup? Methinks you're better off heading south, to one of said third-world countries. $47 will get you a beauty queen, along with a tangible fungus plaguing your nether-region. Kudos on the blow-me factor. It's not a new year with new beginnings and new chances at success...it's the mark of price increases and depressing failure. I'm with you; blow me, world.
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